And started giving stuff away?' said Corporal Nobbs.

That's what I said! That's got to be a Crime, hasn't it?

Corporal Nobss rubbed his nose.

Well,nearly, he conceded, not wishing to totally relinquish the chance of any festive remuneration. Realization dawned, 'He's giving away your stuff, sir?

No! No, he brought it in with him!

Ah? Giving away your stuff, now if he was doing that, yes, I could see the problem. That's a sure sign of crime, stuff going missing. Stuff turning up, weeerll, that's a tricky one. Unless it's stuff like arms and legs, o' course. We'd be on safer ground if he was nicking stuff, sir, to tell you the truth

This is shop, said Mr Crumley, finally getting to the root of the problem, we do not give Merchanidse away. How can we expect people to buy things if some Person is giving them away? Now please go and get him out of here.

Arrest the Hogfather, style of thing?

Yes!

On Hogswatchnight?

Yes!

In your shop?

Yes!

In frontof all the kiddies?'

Y—' Mr Crumley hesitated. To his horror, he realized that Corporal Nobss, against all expectations, had a point. 'You think that will look bad?' he said.

Hard to see how it could look good, sir.

Together they managed to get the newcomer on to his feet.

Toga, sandals ... he looks abit like you, said Susan, as the fruit victim swayed heavily.

Was I that green colour?

Close.

Is ... there a privy nearby? mumbled their burden, through clammy lips.

I believe it's through that arch over there, said Susan.I've heard it's not very pleasant, though.

That's not a rumour, that's a forecast, said the fat figure, and lurched off.